CONGRATULATIONS to Lerato Mogoatlhe on a brave and candid exposé of
how women literally abuse themselves, Boogy’s Space, December 6.
It is high time we stoped flogging the usual suspects during this
period of awareness of violence and abuse against women, and look much deeper
into the malaise of woman abuse.
As a magistrate, I have to deal with horrifying accounts of how men
abuse women and I am a committed gender activist for the rights of women. As a
pastor, I also deal with the problem daily.
But as much as I sympathise and actively support the cause of our
women, I have reluctantly come to the conclusion that some women are their own
worst enemies. In fact, women are the main cause of their own abuse.
The biggest socioeconomic problem in our country is the multitude
of children born to unmarried mothers. This has resulted in the decline in the
moral fibre of society, including the high crime rate and juvenile delinquency.
When one asks mothers why they bear children with men to whom they
are not married, the standard answer is: “You cannot ask a man if and when he
will marry you.”
This boggles the mind. A woman is equal to a man in all respects,
according to our constitution, and can become president of the country.
Yet she has no right – according to these women – to ask her male
partner about her future, while gratuitously affording him all the privileges of
a married man.
Surely a woman cannot claim to be free until she has full control
over her body and her future?
I have often been frustrated when trying to apply the Domestic
Violence Act to help women. Half the cases are withdrawn by the victims because
they are more committed to the relationship than to their own wellbeing.
Why do women seem to exist solely to please men?
Why can’t they establish their own lives and enter into
relationships on their own terms and as equals?
The constitution gives them that right.
The reason is clearly not just money and security because even
economically independent women are victims.
A love relationship was designed for the man to love the woman, not
the other way round.
Why should a woman have to prove her love to a man at all? The sad
truth is that most women set themselves up for abuse.
Bishop Moagi Michael
Mogwase