COMMENT: Zuma mirrors South Africa
by By Tokiso M. Molefe
2010-02-02 16:00
Everybody is talking about President Zuma’s latest scandal. He is
at child number 20, outside his three marriages and not with a bride in waiting
either. The key word in most conversations is “morals”.
Fair enough, morals, or the lack of in this case, are at play here.
Many point out that as the president he represents South Africa to the world and
what will this say about us? The world must be thinking that South African men
cheat, South African single women sleep with married men, South African married
women accept that their men stray and South Africans refuse to condomise.
Let's be honest with ourselves, infidelity is a reality. We can
throw stones all we like at Zuma because he is an easy target.
But our high HIV/AIDS statistics speak for themselves. Everyday two consenting adults get into bed
together disregarding their commitments, families and disease.
Women walk around
with their heads held up high because they are sleeping with so and so’s
husband. Truth is, as women, we allow these men to get away with murder then run
around with disgust when a man like Zuma enjoy this 'right' we have given him.
We stay with cheating boyfriends and husbands telling ourselves that it is the
norm. We shout women empowerment but live the direct opposite.
I heard someone argue that Zuma does not respect women,
unfortunately he behaves like this because he is allowed to. Zuma will not lose
his position over this, Malema and company will back him up and some other women out
there will sleep with him and bring us child number 21.
So while everybody is
worrying what the world is thinking I suggest we worry about how we see
ourselves. We need to change the way we see relationships. Women are not victims
but power holders, by saying no to the married man, insisting on condoms and
walking away from cheating partners the change will start there.
Imagine how
different Zuma would behave if women not married to him said, “you are a married
man leave me alone” or “you are my father's friend we can't do this”.
Zuma and
many like him do this because they know they have a platform to.
If the Zuma problem is going to be fixed we need to start at home
and stop normalising infidelity.
Until that day comes do not have the right to get shocked when
2010 ends and we are at child number 25 plus.
Tokiso M. Molefe
Johannesburg