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Fifty shades of vanilla gets the tongues, erm, wagging

So, let’s talk about Fifty Shades of Grey. Last weekend the movie raked in more than R2.7 billion; for those numerically disinclined (like me) that’s roughly two metric f**k-tons or many, many Nkandlas.

Snowy times: The People's Liberation Army train in temperatures of minus 10 degrees Celsius on Thursday (February 26 2015) in Heihe, China. The Central Military Commission has warned the armed forces that their goals of modernisation can only be achieved if they respect the law. The army has been scandalised with many top-flight members being accused of corruption.

Picture: China Daily/Reuters

The gravy strain in the heat of day

@City_Press 8 February 2015 15:00

Wednesday. My second day back at work after a month of what one of my bosses describes as: “Sitting on the beach, smoking zol and doing fokol.” The man’s not entirely incorrect in his analysis. It is what it is.

Surviving Valentine’s Day

In South Africa we like to blame things on the “Western paradigm”. President Jacob Zuma notably said corruption is not a crime around these parts because it’s a “Western thing”.

Hot or Not

  • This Week

    Hot:

    South Africans aren’t known for their “put up and shut up” attitudes, which the ANC should have remembered before it arranged to have the 3G signal jammed in Parliament during the state of the nation address. Ordinary citizens, civil society and journalists collectively lost their tempers – and signal was restored. Just a reminder to our leaders: we won’t be silenced.

    Not:

    State Security Minister David ­Mahlobo left the National Assembly when chants of “Bring back the ­signal!” reached fever pitch on Thursday night. When he returned, so did the cellphone signal. ­Coincidence? We think not, Mr ­Minister. South ­Africa needs leaders, not mindless securocrats who try to throttle ­dialogue and dissent.

  • Previous Weeks

    Hot:

    Our sister paper, the Daily Sun, tells some of SA’s most important stories. One of the best things about this ­flagship tabloid is its sense of humour, as evidenced by a poster that we ­imagine nearly led to a number of multiple car pile-ups on Wednesday. “Tokoloshe blow job terror!” it shouted from lampposts. Sadly, the tokoloshe could not be reached for comment.

    Not:

    Sports Minister Fikile Mbalula for telling the Proteas “Don’t be like Shakes Mashaba” before they left for the World Cup. While his office has tried to play down the comment, ­saying it was made in jest, this was not a cool thing to say. Mbaks should know better and should look no further than his “bunch of losers” comment about Bafana Bafana.

  • Previous Weeks

    Hot:

    Captain marvellous AB de Villiers for his amazing feat when the Proteas slayed the West Indies on Sunday. He scored 149 runs off just 44 balls, with nine fours and 16 sixes, the most by a local and the joint highest number of sixes overall in an ODI innings. He equalled the world record of ­India’s Rohit Sharma. Div reached three figures off just 31 deliveries.

    Not:

    Nothing can stand in the way of the king’s wishes – this much is clear in Swaziland, where King Mswati III ordered that schools not reopen yet. He made the order so that schoolboys can instead help weed his ­sorghum fields. And in return, the pupils will be rewarded with a 2015 calendar, bearing the face of none other than Mswati himself.

  • Previous Weeks

    Hot:

    Bafana coach Shakes Mashaba has brought hope to the nation. He’s won 10 out of 10 games since his appointment and goes into the first Afcon game against Africa’s powerhouse,
    Algeria, in high spirits after drawing with former African champs Zambia and Cameroon, before demolishing Mali midweek. We are behind this bunch of winners. Go for it and make us proud.

    Not:

    Talana-Jo Huysamer (23), pictured above, and Chantlé Hoffmann (42) wanted the same parking spot in Cape Town’s Harfield Village. So Huysamer, who is white, allegedly shocked Hoffmann, who is coloured, with a Taser and called her the k-word. This kind of behaviour won’t help white Cape Town shake off the ‘racist’ tag it hates so much.

  • Previous Weeks

    Hot:

    When you’re a politician, it’s easy to fall into the trap of making big promises, and demanding that others do as you say and not as you do. So kudos to Eastern Cape Rural Development MEC Mlibo Qoboshiyane. He not only encourages people to plant their own food gardens, but gives them the seeds to do so and shares pics of his own garden to encourage them.

    Not:

    In 2009, a little system called democracy saw the ANC lose power in the Western Cape. Voters didn’t think the ANC was governing or delivering services well. ­Instead of promising to do better, its leaders are using petty race politics to bully people into voting the DA out in 2016. You can do better than that, ANC.

A purity of intent

In a world where we are always thinking ahead or reflecting on the past, and being in numerous virtual and real-world spaces Milisuthando Bongela considers what it means to be fully conscious and present.

Parly TV: A reflection of reality or farce?

@PaddyHarper1 30 November 2014 15:00

Wednesday. The Croc (City Press photographer Khaya Ngwenya) is wandering around in a state of shock. The poor bastard’s been like this since he got roped into shooting the Crown Gospel what whats on Sunday night.

News

Quotable

The party has a choice. Not me. I’ve said I don’t choose my successor.
Zimbabwe’s President Robert Mugabe on his successor

Lighter Side

All Cartoons