Love in the Time of the Mangaung

A new bromance?

The biggest bromance of the past five years ended yesterday when Deputy President Kgalema Motlanthe finally rejected advances by President Jacob Zuma and decided to take him head on in a presidential race.

Not so for most of the delegates at the Mangaung conference: they clearly have love only for JZ. Some will admit they trust Kgalema more, but love for Kgalema does not keep you warm at night – a goose down duvet bought with your tender money, does.

But all is not lost for the losers of Mangaung – Tokyo Sexwale, Mathews Phosa and Razzmatazz.

For them there will always be Cubana, a wannabe Cuban restaurant and bar in Second Avenue. If they can afford the R200 entrance, lots of love awaits inside.

Cubana used to be the party hub for the Youth League, but in their post-Malema phase the music has died a little and the fizz has gone out of the Moët & Chandon.

But Cubana is still the most rocking joint in Mangaung, and if our loser comrades fork out a bit more, there is still some hope for them to find love with what we call the Delegates of the Night – women dressed to the nines in skirts that are hardly bigger than a ballot paper and heels as unstable as Motlanthe’s political future.

But our loser comrades will have to fend off big men with big bucks – the recently privileged have booked many of the VIP spots in Cubana for them, their pals and the Delegates of the Night they booked for the week.

They put down R10 000 to secure the booking for the evening and when they arrive the bubbly is in an ice bucket with Glenfiddich on the side.

One excitable delegate gushed that many of these girls have been pre-paid by party benefactors so that the weary and love-starved conference-goers can merely help themselves as one would from a buffet meal.

A word of warning: A Zuma delegate recently ran up a bill of R30 000 while treating his buddies to a share of the fruits of liberation that he managed to pick after Polokwane.

But turns out the orchard was bare. His credit card failed and now his friends bring up the incident every time they have a political disagreement – especially if they want to impress girls.

But not all relationships at Mangaung are that straightforward and like pimpled teenagers in the first flush of love, some comrades struggle to make their feelings known.

So if you need help in that department, or have anything to share, email titbits to web@citypress.co.za and we can help you find love in the time of Mangaung.

- The Girls of the Luthuli Mansion