Sona: 10 things Zuma didn’t say
A list of the things President Jacob Zuma did not say in his state of the nation address last night.
1. Let me tell you exactly what happened with Nkandla.
2. I apologise for not firing Angie, but we all know why I needed her on my team *wink*.
3. Yes, I will take another wife and yes, you will pay for her upkeep.
4. Do the allegations about Mac and the Swiss millions bother me? No. Who didn’t have to beg, borrow or steal at some point?
5. Want to know a secret? The Guptas don’t serve the most delicious food I’ve ever eaten. Helen goes there for the food. I just go there for the money.
6. I chose for Sona to happen today so that I didn’t have to choose which wife to spend Valentine’s Day with.
7. I actually have no clue what Facebook is – Dudu put that part into my speech.
8. Can you believe this thing about Oscar!
9. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times … (Charles Dickens)
10. We will be introducing a youth wage subsidy. Yes, Cosatu. A youth wage subsidy. The full monty.
- Mandy Rossouw and Carien du Plessis (with tongues firmly in their cheeks)